Like everyone, I have a bucket list that I am constantly adding to, improvising, and adjusting. Diving with the great white shark is on the top of my list. Well...it was.

I have swum with many species of shark, scuba dived with a handful of man-eaters, and unknowingly been in the dangerous proximity of the tiger shark and bull shark. These are the two most deadly man-eaters. 

Any Jaws fan will tell you that the movie is loosely based on the actual events of a man-eater. One of the top oceanic apex predators is the bull shark. This shark prefers to hunt at dusk and dawn in shallow waters. This is the shark who inspired the blockbuster movie. 

Belize, 2003—I frolicked in the same water at dusk that two bull sharks were pulled from just hours later. We visited The Rainbow Bar on Caye Caulker—a local establishment famous for its panty ripper drinks. A few of those and I had no inhibitions being in the sharks’ hunting ground at their dinner time. By fortune, I had danced my rum-filled brain back to shore prior to the arrival of the murderous duo that were hanging by their tails the following morning. 

Maui, Hawaii, 2007—My husband, myself, and a master diver friend of ours noticed some natives swiftly swam past us, splashing on shore trying furiously to get our attention. We were diving in a turtle washing station in shallow water just 60 yards off the beach when we noticed them. Frantically motioning us to come in, we headed ashore. Arriving at the beach, the natives asked if we had seen the 15-foot tiger shark that was following us through the sandbars. We had not. Tiger sharks often attack out of curiosity; their ferocity is not rivaled by many other shark species. They can detect one drop of blood in an area of water the size of an Olympic swimming pool. I was having girl issues at that time, and unbeknownst to me, I had nearly made us the main course at the shark’s dinner party.

2017, Cape Town, South Africa—I became obsessed with the “flying sharks” that can jump skywards of 15 feet out of the water to reach their prey. Boat tour operators estimate that 80% of viewers will get up and personal for at least 5 minutes with a great white while in a surface cage. The cost for this expedition is roughly $600 per person. I. AM. IN…And I’m taking my parents and husband with me. This is on the tippy top of my bucket list! We arrive at the outfitters, and along with 10 other participants, we slip into our wetsuits. Everyone is excited and ready to experience the great whites. We lumber to the boat like a dozen poorly dressed seals ready to tease the apex of the ocean by dressing like their favorite morsel.

Our slow-moving, ancient, diesel-fueled boat chugs along for an hour to reach the destination where the whites were last spotted. Including our crew, our boat holds a baker’s dozen plus a few additional crumbs. The swells were so intense that the captain struggled to maintain a position. We were rocking from port to starboard while being pummeled by 20-foot waves. The little vessel was folding in on itself from side to side at a 45-degree angle all the while expelling noxious diesel fumes.

I’ve spent days on old, slow-moving, diesel-fueled dive boats without problems. Today was a different story. I found the shore and focused on a stationary object. We had spent $2,500 dollars to see a great white up close and to dive with the apex of the ocean. I was hellbent on maintaining composure and keeping my breakfast—scrambled eggs, black coffee, and orange juice—from making an appearance. The overwhelming inhalation of toxic fumes chugging out of the ancient and unmaintained engine, the smell of the fish used for chum, and the rigorous swells were overcoming my brain, balance, and body. My composure was failing. The sickness started with a splitting headache, mainly due to the fumes, I guess.